SOO... if you can't tell, I am in the thick of letting Jaxson "cry it out". Now I have done this with my previous 2, and they are fine... no lasting scars that I can see... but you know, it just always feels wrong! I remember when Mikayla was in this stage, I would go to the gym to excercise, and Bri would sit at home and listen to her cry and cry... but I just couldn't do it!! so I have been reading up on the subject. Not surprisingly, most of the books say that it is good for the baby to learn to self soothe, and that it makes them independent. I did find ONE book, that said "why would you want or expect a 6 month old to be independent?" they suggest that the best way is to co-sleep, or put the baby in bed with you, and that is the way most of the world do it. The author quoted a lady from South Africa (or somewhere like that!) that asked "Is it true Americans put their baby's to sleep in cages?" (that is funny I never thought of a crib as a cage... guess thats cause they are so expensive!!) and as the next best thing (if you are against co-sleeping) is that you should rock your baby to sleep. I thought that this made sense... I guess because it just always felt "wrong" to let my precious baby cry and scream for hours (I have really stubborn kids!) then we went in to talk to our bishop (not about this!) and I guess he felt inspired, because he told us a story about his daughters... one let her baby sleep in bed with them, and their marriage is just falling apart, the other bit the bullet and let baby cry and he learned before too long to just go to sleep on his own... so I can see that it may be best to let 'em cry... but why does it make me so sad?? I guess our therapist is right... I am just too soft!
Lets hear what you think... sound off!!
12 years ago
5 comments:
This has, by far, been one of the hardest parenting decisions I've made! I guess since you've had good results with your other 2 you can at least have faith it'll work eventually. With Olivia I let her cry for a few minutes to see if she'll go back to sleep on her own. About 90% of the time she will, but if she really starts to scream I go in and give her her binky...
Also, when I put her to bed she's almost all the way asleep. She usually wakes up for a second, then turns over and falls to sleep. It took a LONG time to get to that point though, I've been doing a bedtime routine with her since she has 2 1/2 months old!
Anyway, here's your novel comment from me!! :)
hmmmm, coming from the softest of all soft mammas.... and an even softer grandma...I don't agree with it. There has to be a better way!
I'm somewhere in the middle! Just like everything else in my life...I do everything half way!:) A little crying, a little checking on (not too much of either)! Just enough til' they get the hang of it and you get some sleep!
I know, this comment just confused you more! Sorry!
I'm just a dad so what would I know but... I'm definitely for letting them cry it out. With Kimber our doctor told us that she would cry for about 4 hours the first night and then it would cut in half every night after that. He was exactly right almost to the minute. After a few nights she was sleeping through the night.
The hardest part was soothing her mom, who was crying along with Kimber after a couple hours and wanting to go soothe her. I had to keep reminding her that if she went and got her then we would have made her suffer for hours for no reason.
End result: 3 kids who have never slept in bed with us, sleep for 12 hours a night, and hardly ever woke up at night. Of course we could just be really lucky!
Hey mace, I was just reading your post. I really like a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" (by Elizabeth Pantley). It has some good ideas and "techniques" for how to help baby sleep on his own, without "crying it out". I read/used it for our first and I'm using some of the suggestions now for little Sam, to hopefully help him learn how to put himself to sleep. Anyway just a suggestion. :)
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